Earlier today I sat on a bench in sheer exhaustion. Having begun to feel better, I made the mistake of moving about at a normal stride & even being quick about an errand to the store. Then, on top of that, I never got to bed at all last night.
I found myself back to where I was a week ago. Everything is a chore. Breathing incredibly painful. My heart feeling like it is out of control and going to jump out of my chest. Plus, I was incredibly tired and debating whether or not I should even attempt to drive myself home.
So I sat on the bench, trying to simply breathe without pain, trying to decide what to do, and feeling a little bit discouraged but mostly too tired to even feel anything. I must have looked pretty sad because a nice woman came up to me and told me she wanted me to have this 'pocket angel.' Isn't it beautiful? When I am weary I often long for my mother. I hadn't realized how that weighed on me until that moment as I sat there rubbing the smooth glass of the pocket angel in my hand. It reminded me of my mom's service as a TIP (Trauma Intervention Program) volunteer and the angel pins that she would give to those she served on her calls. It reminded me of visiting with my former art teacher Lisa Hinricksen just after my mom died and the little smooth pebble she gave me to keep with me and rub in my pocket to feel calm or feel her near...it is in my jewelry box right now next to my mother's rings. That also reminded me of another angel who helped me in that time of my life, my former English teacher Kellie M. Guild, who was able to ease my burden just a little bit by sharing her pain of losing a mother at a young age and who pointed me in the direction of a book that would end up providing me much comfort. She was also the reason I was in the place I was at the time I was today.
I have been blessed with so many angels in my life...in different ways and at different points in time. Today an angel blessed me with a little gift that I didn't even realize I needed. Thank you.