Monday, March 23, 2009

finding joy.

There has been a lot of talk at church lately about finding joy in our journey and being happy with our lot in life. We had a nice RS thing about it this past week. I came home and thought about whether or not I was happy with my stage in life. I get comments from other moms who've been there that I am in the hardest stage and that is especially hard that I have so many so close together. But I also recently had an experience talking with a total stranger (another blog for that one) who has never been married or had kids and just had the reaction of 'oh, hold them and love on them every minute you can because it is gone so fast.'  They do! P gets her kindergarten shots this week. W is almost a first grader. I am almost out of the baby stage- K2 turns 1 in just 6 weeks. And you know what I realized? I am happy with my stage in life. Trust is really hard right now. But these trials make us better. I have been humbled in many ways. I have had to make adjustments to my views and my attitude. I feel pulled in every way imaginable and burdened to the point of barely being able to stand. But I am happy. I know this life is just a moment and I am happy with the growth I have seen in DH and I. I know that God's hand is in all things. I have a testimony and that makes me happy. I have 4 beautiful children who bring and immense amount of joy and completeness to my life. I have a supportive and kind husband. I have been greatly blessed by people around me lately who have followed promptings and little nudgings they have received. They probably don't even realize that they have been my angels and answers to my prayers. While I may complain or gripe or moan or kick and fight it is because I have growing pains. Growth is hard and painful but it is good and I stand a little taller as a result. At least that's what I like to tell myself. =)