Sunday, June 2, 2013

30day progress report

Feeling pretty conflicted today. This is the 30 day progress I promised. I have SO far to go that it is discouraging. I remind myself that a number on a scale is just a number and doesn't define me. Still I feel so disheartened to only lose a couple of pounds. Yet, I am down 11 inches and 2.5% body fat using the caliper method- putting me in the average range, despite how I look. I know my fitness has improved, I can feel it when I lift heavier weights and when I run up the stairs without losing my breath or am able to push myself harder running on the treadmill. I know my energy has improved and my mind just feels so much more clear. My habits are changing as are my thoughts & attitudes toward things. I see definition that doesn't come across well in the pics and that makes me happy. Still.... That darn scale. It just leaves me depressed. Why am I posting this? Because I committed to doing so and because I know it will keep me accountable. I don't do it to fish for validation or feedback to make me feel better. I do it because I know I need to to keep myself going, to rid myself of my own self shame, and because I'm sure that out there somewhere is someone a lot like me.  I don't intend to make any excuses for myself.  It was a rough week.  I was sick or something- still trying to figure that out- and so I didn't workout half the week or eat anything but carbs and my Shakeology because my stomach just couldn't do it.  I only felt good when I had my shake so I'm so glad that I did.  Who knows how that affected things today but I didn't want to use that as an excuse.  I know I've lost more weight than that but I typically weigh on a different day and I have a feeling I've gained this week and am seeing the sad effects of that.  I am more than a number.  Still, I need that number to change so much more than it has.  I won't quit.  I can't quit..... because I told myself that I would see this all the way through the 90 days and trust the process.  I've made myself accountable to anyone reading this (which must be someone given the amount of hits this blog is getting without comments).  So I'll just keep keepin' on......

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for your support and encouragement. Please note that this blog is meant to be a safe and honest place. Spamming and unnecessary negativity will not be tolerated. There is enough of that in the world. Thank you for your understanding!