facing the music

::sigh::  I really did not want to step on the scale or grab the measuring tape this morning.  I knew it would mean having to face the weekend's damage.  I feel icky and bloated and crampy.  Sorry if that's too much detail for y'all.  I have a few days yet though before I get to just have that part happen, dealt with, and over.  Can't believe I can't wait.  In the meantime, life keeps happening and I have to fight the spiral to not throw in the towel for the week and undo all the work I've done thus far.  I think that's what's happened before.  It needs to happen no longer.  I've been thinking of some coping strategies.  Number one, I decided that maybe I need to allow myself extra focus on self-care knowing that it is a difficult and triggering time of the month.  Maybe that will give me extra strength and an extra outlet for triggering feelings.  So, the laundry piles might just stay on the couch today and I might just stay in my craft room instead.  I also need to make absolutely certain that I do not miss a single workout because I know how much that helps.  I might even add in additional workouts.  I have to commit to logging all of my food and being super accountable for the week.  I have to recognize that I am having a hard time, feeling triggered, and talk about it.  I did that last night with DH and it was good.  I was feeling triggered on both ends- as the wife of an addict and as an addict myself- so it was good to have a little conversation about what was causing it.  So maybe I can be done with it all.  I will beat myself this week.  I am glad it is Monday.  I may have gained just over a pound this week.  I still lost an inch.  Small victories.