accountable.

Since it's the last Sat of the month I took all my measurements and sort of an 'accounting' of myself. I've had a harder time being focused and motivated this month. There was a week in particular that was bad.

Still, I am really bummed by my results, or lack thereof, this month. I guess I just expected to be somewhere else at this point and it's hard when you aren't. Especially with all the P90X I've been doing. I hate doing things the slow and patient way but I know I need to for my whole self to be best nourished. I hate that my body doesn't seem to allow me even the slightest amount of give. I console myself by reminding myself it is literally the worst day of the month a woman can do weights and measures. 

Maybe next week will be better. At least I'm healthy. Maybe these lousy results will help me be more focused and motivated with the prospect of being in a swimsuit at the end of this next month. It's either that or I feel it's pointless and doing no good and I should accept this really is the 'new me' from now on (these are the mind battles I have with myself). It occurs to me that this is how an addict feels- that their efforts are pointless, that they are defective human beings, that they can have a little bit of leeway and it won't make a big difference but they get upset when it adds up and does. ::sigh:: Anyway here goes Month 2: same weight, -.5% bf, -3.5 inches (all in thighs & hips) 2013 totals: -5lbs, -1.5%bf, -11.5 inches overall